Char's Ramblings

Ending.

Knowing that something is for the best doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard to let go of something that has been possibly the biggest, most important part of your life for so long, even when you realise that it has been slowly destroying you.

Such small changes that could have made everything different. Tiny changes & I’d have been so happy. Never once expected a fairy tale. Just wanted to be “enough”. I wanted to be enough for him to not want to see anyone else. But I realise I never will be. I realise I’ll never know why. I realise that no matter how much you put someone first, respect them, do whatever you can to make them happy.. It doesn’t matter if they’re not willing to even give you respect.

He made me laugh, he made me cry, he made me feel safe, he made me feel insecure, he made me feel love, he made me feel fear, he made me feel like I had no idea who I was anymore.

I know that no matter how much I love him it makes no difference. I know that he’d rather push me away & hurt me than risk opening himself up to the possibility of hurt himself. I’ve tried. Really tried.

He has his demons. They make him a completely different person. Sometimes they bring out a little of the person I know he is. Sometimes they make him open up & be honest. But most of the time they make him something that scares me. A different person.

I know all of this. I know every problem. I remember every last word he said to me to hurt me. I remember everything he did to break my heart. I know that he’ll never be willing to make those small changes for us to work. I know he will always make me feel like I’m not good enough.

So why am I lay here missing him more than I’ve ever missed anyone in my life?

Equality

It’s 2012. People often go on about equality between the sexes. Obviously that has improved massively over the years, but we will never ever be completely equal and it’s about time people accepted that!! 

A little example for you: 

If a guy meets a girl, if he almost immediately gets to the point & asks her if she’d like to go for a drink sometime with him, then that’s a positive. Regardless of if she says yes or no, he’s a man that doesn’t want to play games. He knows what he wants & he goes for it. No messing about. It’s a good thing. 

If a girl meets a guy, if she almost immediately gets to the point & asks him if he’d like to go for a drink sometime with her, then that’s a negative. She’s seen as being a bit too forward, a little bit desperate & probably easy. 

How the exact same thing can be seen so differently depending on whether it involves a male or female asking the question baffles me. It’s ridiculous really, but I doubt it’ll ever change! 

Personally, I can’t be bothered with all the “game playing” that comes with the whole dating thing. If I meet a guy I like the look of, i’d love to just ask him if he fancies going for a drink or whatever. I like to just get to the point & skip out all the mind games & bullshit. But I can’t do that. Because i’m a girl. For a girl to do that, it’s seen as desperation when in reality it’s just much more simple! 

Why waste your time dropping hints in the hope that he’ll ask you what you want to ask him? He may have no interest in you at all. You could be dropping hints & working on this for ages when it is never, ever going to happen. If you ask, and he says no, it might be a little kick in the ego but you just brush yourself off & carry on without wasting anymore time because you know exactly where you stand! What’s wrong with making life even more complicated than it already is?

It’s actually very rare these days that a guy will just get to the point now too. Which leaves more & more time getting wasted. It’s actually shocking how many people I know that both liked eachother but never ended up with other people purely because neither of them had the guts to ask the other one out. GET A GRIP & JUST ASK!  

Obviously equality will never completely happen. As much as i’d like the above to change in order to make life for me & the rest of us more simple it won’t. Just like a guy that goes around having sex with anything & everything is a “legend” and a girl that does it is a “slut”. 

It’s just really annoying. Trying to work out whether or not someone is interested in you is annoying. It’s all in the hands of the males. So guys, just get to the point & ask the girl out of you like her. If she says no, just move on to the next one! Not hard really is it?

@SLEEPROLLERS vs @LaurenGoodger

Obviously when a unique & popular product comes out, other companies are bound to create their own versions. They may not be as good, or they may end up being better, but it’s all part of business.. Look at @ClaireaBellaLtd bags, there are copies of her bags everywhere, most not as good, but cheaper, & people buy them.

I do think @sleeprollers need to get a grip & realize that whilst they came up with this concept, which is brilliant, others will release their own versions, and therefore they need to just make sure theirs remain the best on the market & at the best possible price. 

But, after reading the statement on the @sleeprollers website, the way @laurengoodger has actually gone about this whole thing is crafty. Using their product after being given it for free, implying that she’d promote it, but then creating her own version at a lower price. A bit out of order..

But then, a company that thinks some desperate, fame hungry nobody from The Only Way Is Essex is a good person to promote the use of their products probably deserve it!

Life Lessons.

We’re always learning something new. Every moment, every second, every minute every day. Right now you’re likely to be learning something new. You just may not realize it. 

Sometimes you won’t realize what life is showing you so clearly until much later. Hours, days, months, years… but you’ll see it. Eventually you’ll see it so clearly you’ll have no idea why you didn’t see it sooner when it was staring you straight in the face. 

In life a lot of the time we only see what we want to see. We hear what we want to hear. We ignore the doubts & hold on tightly to the thing that we want. What we want to believe. It’s not really reality. But we believe it’s reality. It’s the reality we choose to believe. 

Falling in love, having your heart broken, feeling like you’ll never get over it. Feeling like that one person is the only person that you will ever love. Refusing to believe you’ll feel that way again. That person, for all of their imperfections, is your perfection. Your life will only be complete and happy with that person in it. 

Fast Forward …

Looking back at that situation & having absolutely no idea why you fell in love with that person in the first place. Struggling to even recognize what you found attractive about that person physically, never mind mentally. Realizing that as much as you truly believed that person made you happy. They didn’t. Realizing you never really fit in with that person’s life, and they never fit in with yours. 

Suddenly all the signs of it being an absolute disaster are shouting at you loud and clear. The people around you weren’t to blame for it not working out. That person was to blame for it not working out. Their weakness, their desperation to be something they weren’t. Looking back, and instead of feeling heart break & sadness for the love you lost, feeling pity that this person is living a life trying to be something they’re not, and never will be. 

When things don’t work out there is a reason for it. You may not feel like it now, but in time you will learn from it. You’ll stop blaming the wrong people & instead blame the right ones. You’ll see what you did wrong. You’ll see what you should never have accepted as ok. You’ll learn from it. 

But that won’t stop you doing it all over again. You may use some of the lessons you learned, but you won’t use all of them. You’ll still create your own reality. Love will always blind you. Logic and love will never mix. Fear of losing someone that means so much to you will make you accept things you probably shouldn’t. 

Just remember, once upon a time you felt like you’d never feel this way about anyone else ever again, but now you do. So if deep in your heart you know it’s not right. That you’ve created your own reality that isn’t as happy as you tell yourself it is. There’s no reason why after you’ve got through the heartache & sadness of losing the love you think you have, you won’t find the real love that you deserve. That makes you happy. 

Love isn’t perfect, but it doesn’t make you feel insecure. Love doesn’t make you feel like you need to change who you are or how you  look, Love doesn’t make you feel like you’re not good enough. Love should make you feel like you belong. Like you don’t need to change yourself or them. Love makes you feel like you are good enough. Be strong enough to refuse to accept anything less. 

omg just been going through this charlotte peels tweets

Oh love. I am not a “Directioner” .. I don’t like or dislike them.. I just don’t care. @CharlottePeel is my OLD twitter name, which I changed after getting lots of psychos sending me death threats & this person stole my username to brag about a tweet they didn’t get. YAWN!

lilay-topping:

she calles herself a directioner, but hates on harry, niall and zayn 

‘I hate @EleanorJCalder and so does Louis sorry… Louis only loves me! :)’

‘Why are so many people jealous of me? Is it because Louis tweeted me? :)’

‘I don’t hate One Direction! I’m a Directioner!! I just only like Louis and Liam :)’

some of her tweets^.. 

and she brags about getting a tweet off louis but this is his tweet..

and she tweeted this..

she’s really confusing 

(Source: liamfkinpayne)

Up with the birds: Charlotte peel

Opinions

Everyone has their own opinions. Whether it be about music, football, religion, attractiveness of a person etc..

Opinions are not fact. They are opinions. If you don’t agree with the opinion of someone else, that doesn’t mean they are wrong. It doesn’t mean they are right. They just have different views of a particular subject. It’s perfectly normal. If everyone agreed on everything life would be a bit boring. Therefore, you should respect the opinions of others even if you don’t think that way yourself.

So what if someone doesn’t like the same band as you. How is that effecting your enjoyment? Who really cares if someone doesn’t fancy the same boy band member as you, I’m sure they quite like guys you wouldn’t look twice at!

Wishing death on someone for not liking what you like is not going to make them suddenly see “the light” & forget everything they previously thought & love it instead. It’s likely to do the obvious. Give someone abuse for not liking something & you re-inforce their dislike!!

Enjoy what you enjoy. Love what you love & stop caring if the World doesn’t agree with you. It doesn’t make any difference to your life!